


Just You And I

by SunflowerJoo



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Divorce, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/F, First Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Love Poems, Microfic, Minor Character Death, Post-Finale, Romantic Fluff, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerJoo/pseuds/SunflowerJoo
Summary: This was met to just be a collection of poems for the lovely Annalise Keating and the gorgeous Tegan Price. But as it turns out, there's a lot to write about these two.[Title was inspired by Tom Walker's, "Just you and I"]...Let's get drunk...I'll pour my heart out through my mouth
Relationships: Annalise Keating/Eve Rothlo, Annalise Keating/Tegan Price
Comments: 101
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just because I love Annalise and Tegan and can't stop daydreaming about them being together.  
> Since they probably weren't endgame in the TV show my plan is to make them in my story.  
> TEGALISE FOREVER!!!

Their meeting may not be predestined but that they will catch feelings is a prophecy. In the beginning, they will not know how much they need each other but as time goes, they will see that life without the other is meaningless and unimaginable. In the middle, they will not admit that they are meant to be and they will play games, trying to deny every little heart palpitations, every beautiful butterfly that take flight in their bellies and every magical spark that ignites every time their flesh touches. Yet, in the end, they will see that they were divinely made for each other.

The night is unlike any other one, maybe it is because the moon is full, the weather is fair and the one she loves is sitting right next to her in this diner that is old but gold with vanilla scented candles that fill the loosed air around them and with hearts palpitating and eyes fluttering and fingers mingling and lips brushing, incessantly. It is no longer a question, if love is real, for this is their reality and in this place, here and now, they can boldly and decisively say that it is.

The moonlight is intense and the moment slightly tense. The night is theirs and they are making the most of it, not sparing any seconds. They are wrapped in each others arms and this embrace is all they need; as it reassures them that they will always have each other come what may and it reminds them of one thing and one thing only, that the love they share will stand the test of time even when the world passes away or the sun falls down from the sky or the earth begins to quake or the oceans disappear.

Their hearts have found home in each other. Their lives, they believe will now head for the better. They will cry but they will laugh even harder. They may be broken but together they are whole and that bond will only get stronger. They will encounter hateful species and speeches but the single idea that love is the air that circulates around them; that love is the ground on which they stride on; and that love is the food that feeds their body and soul; they will conquer the curved hateful balls that were meant to wreck them because they are superwomen living in disguise.

She may be broken, messy, scarred, selfish, scared, doubtful, hopeless, a monster and a killer. She may be all of these things to everyone else but when she’s with you, she is okay to be that way; flawed and imperfect. Because you are just like her, you compliment her and the simple fact that you rather not be a judge but an encourager. She sits and writes sweet promises to be strong even at her weakest, to be brave even with all her fears, to be loving, even when hate rules everything around her. PS: She loves you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She turned and tossed restlessly, unable to sleep before the blinking red light on her phone caught her attention. She shut her weary eyes, stretching an arm to reach for her phone. It was one of the many text messages Tegan has been sending her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the epic, mind-blowing finale
> 
> Writing this story turned out longer than I had expected so I've decided to post it in chapters
> 
> This is a story where;  
> — Annalise obviously still responded to Tegan's love proposal in the same way that she did in S6E15
> 
> — Bonnie doesn't die (Frank still kills the Governor and still dies though. Sorry!)
> 
> — Mama Harkness dies
> 
> — Eve comes to grieve with Annalise
> 
> I hope y'all are keeping safe out there

She laid on her bed, one she had laid in for several weeks unable to get out of it because there was nothing to wake up to or go to that was meaningful. As she would have it, life wasn’t worth her time. To say she hadn’t thought about taking hers was an understatement. She had considered so many options. Options from drowning herself in her bathtub to overdosing herself with some of her sleeping pills or slitting her wrist with one of her kitchen knives. But suicide to her was inconceivable now. Yes, she had tried it once but she had somehow been saved. Somehow, she had a deep gut feeling that she wouldn’t be saved this time if she did. And the thought of that was proof enough that she wanted to live more than anything, despite all of her pain. Still, she could feel that one way or another life was slowly slipping away from her body.

She turned and tossed restlessly, unable to sleep before the blinking red light on her phone caught her attention. She shut her weary eyes, stretching an arm to reach for her phone. It was one of the many text messages Tegan has been sending her. [Tegan had resorted to sending her daily motivational messages ever since she stopped taking or returning her calls. Tegan had started by texting her messages that needed responses but she never sent any back.]

She read the message.

****

****“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief; But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.” - Hilary Stanton Zunin** **

****

****ps: My love will be here ‘till for when you’ll be ready.** **

As she reread the footnote, _m_ _y love will be here ‘till for when you’ll be ready._ Some of Tegan’s words said in that inner office of that courthouse came flooding in.

****“...I can not, not have you in my life, because I love you.”** **

She suddenly recollected the sanguine look in Tegan’s eyes when she professed that love. A look that conveyed hope, happiness, normalcy, a bright future; some of the things she needed right now.

The realization that there was actually a part of her that wished she hadn’t turned down Tegan’s love made her feel a certain kind of guilt that she had never thought she would feel. A guilt that pricked like thorns in her chest. And to think that Tegan had told her she could make her happy made her sick to her stomach because it did feel as if she had made a terrible mistake by rejecting her and everything she was willing to give her.

Still, Annalise didn’t let herself dwell on it. Instead, she consoled herself with the what if’s. After all, what was the point of accepting a love she didn’t think she deserved or was worth hers? She hated that she always thought she didn’t deserve anything good or being with someone better than she was. But she couldn’t help it. She had wired herself that way— undeserving of anything good. She didn’t think she was destined for a life of happiness or a life of having someone who genuinely loved her.

She put down her phone, breathed heavily, buried her face into the sheets and groaned into it.

_Who was she kidding?_

She wanted someone to love her without a blink or without second guesses. She wanted to be held, held tight enough to feel their body warmth especially on cold nights like tonight. She wanted to have someone lying next to her. She wanted to have someone to wake up to. She wanted someone to talk to her and listen to her when she talked. She wanted a lot of things. But the reality of her not being able to give back all that she wanted dampened her mood and blurred the yearning lines.

And sleep came along, saving her the torture of it all.

The following morning she woke up to another one of Tegan’s text messages.

****“Even in grief, never lose your hope. Trust that you’ll be okay.”** **

****

****ps: In the end, love is worth the pain you’re experiencing.** **

****

****pss: I love you and probably always will, Annalise.** **

She read it, it melted her heart but what was she going to do with it? Nothing. And as the day began to blossom, she got caught up with it and so it was easy to forget about Tegan’s text. Yet, the text kept coming in. They came in the following days and days turned into weeks and even into months, two months exactly. And not for once did she return any of them, not once. In as much as she knew how cruel this was, she didn’t make the effort to change it. She just ignored her self-absorbedness and enjoyed it, enjoying it so much so she didn’t know how much she looked forward to Tegan’s text messages. But not until she woke up one somber morning with hopes to seeing a text to brighten up her day. But there was no text from Tegan to start up her day with.

She didn’t think anything of it as she probably thought Tegan had only just forgotten. Incautiously, she pined for a sort of goodnight text from her. But that too, never came.

It was in that moment, she began to wonder if Tegan was alright. Yet, her irrational thoughts didn’t let her ponder for long if that was the case. As a part of her began to think that maybe Tegan had had it, maybe she was done with her silences and had given up on her.

 _But who wouldn’t?_ She would too herself.

She never could suck up to anyone before.

So she didn’t call or text either. She went to bed with many assumptions.

The following day would come and she wouldn’t be able to count the many times she would check her phone just waiting for that text. Waiting for that text that would make her smile on the inside, that text that would make her feel a little bit OK, that text that would remind her that there was life before grief and even after it, that text that would show her what it was to be truly cared about. She would think to call her but she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to doing it. She would contemplate on texting. But what she would plan to say would be hard to come up with because she had nothing to say or didn’t exactly know what to say.

But what was really holding her back was guilt. She was very aware that if she did call or text Tegan was because she hadn’t gotten a soothing text from her and not because she wanted to know how she was really doing or apologize for being such a terrible person or to tell her that she was sorry for turning down her love or that she misses her and would like for them to meet. No, she would be calling because she was a selfish, mean and greedy person. Always wanting to receive and not give anything back in return.

After debating for so long, she would dial Tegan’s number and it would quickly send her to voicemail. **[Can’t talk right now! Leave a message if you know it’s important! I’d reply if I think it is! *a chuckle* Love, Tegan!]**

She took a deep breath, holding the phone a little too tight, as she began to feel a certain kind of way. She didn’t realize how much she missed hearing her voice so much so she even redialed her number in hopes to hear that recorded voice but unexpectedly, it was a breathy voice that spoke into the phone.

“ _Annalise!_ ”

She held a hand to her chest; Her heart silently thumping in there. She tried to speak but no words could be formed. She quickly ended the call. She gasped, throwing the phone on the bed. Her heart was still palpitating when her phone began to ring again. She knew it had to be Tegan calling back. She didn’t think she could answer it so she let it ring out. She rested her back against the bed panel, trying to get her heart to stop beating so fast when the phone began to ring again. She summoned courage and answered.

“Annalise, it’s Cora.”

She pulled the phone away and looked at it. Why was Cora answering Tegan’s phone? She felt slightly jealous.

“Annalise.”

“Yes.”

“Tegan was involved in an accident.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> Feedbacks are welcomed!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had stood in front of her mirror going on fifteen minutes now, trying every goddamn dress in her closet but none seemed right. It was not like she was going on a date so she was bummed as to why picking and wearing the right dress mattered...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Comments. I really do appreciate everyone of you 😘🤗💕

***FLASHBACK***

It was the week after Frank’s funeral. Tegan had come in one evening after work to check up on Annalise. Bonnie had called her earlier that day to let her know that she would be traveling and it would make her less worried if someone kept an eye on Annalise since she would be away for a long time. Tegan had quickly jumped at the offer. But as she drove down there, she felt sick to her stomach. She was having second guesses as she and Annalise haven’t been in a room together, alone, ever since she told her she was in love with her. The nervousness she felt was off the rooftop. But she continued driving to Annalise’s because she couldn’t not go because she had made Bonnie a promise, she had given her word. She hated it that she feared what Annalise’s reaction would be more than anything. But she was ready to take whatever she would throw at her.

When her car took a spot in front of Annalise’s building, she didn’t come down immediately. She took at least ten to fifteen seconds gathering her wits altogether before getting out. As she walked up to the door, she rubbed her palms together, even popping knuckles that their sounds heightened her nervousness. She breathed into her hands before tapping the door totally forgetting about the existence of a doorbell. When there was no answer, she still didn’t remember to use the doorbell. She went ahead to unwind the doorknob. It was surprisingly unlocked. She didn’t hesitate to walk right inside. And as she did, she could practically hear her heart beating in her chest. The house was awfully dark, cold and quiet and that frightened her though she immediately shook off the unwanted feeling of fear. But when she found Annalise lying on the floor and she called her name and didn’t get a response, the fear she felt could not be stopped. She rushed up to where she was, knelt down and gently pushed at her shoulders and called her name again. It was when she got a groan from her did she allow calmness in.

Annalise had been drinking all day and was now really wasted. Her eyes were so puffy from crying obviously and her senses where all over the place. She was shocked to see Tegan nonetheless. “What are you doing here. It’s late.” She had stared at the window and the black sky had her assume it was.

 _How much did you have to drink?_ Tegan thought. Annalise’s breath reeked pretty bad. “It’s just eight fifteen.” Tegan said, confirming from her wrist-watch. She helped Annalise sit up before trying to get her on her feet which was a real struggle. When she finally straightened up, Tegan assisted her all the way to her bedroom. In there, she made her sit on the bed. She thought Annalise needed a shower and all she wanted to do was to help her out. But that Annalise hadn’t yelled at her yet was a good thing. And she would prefer it remained that way. So she politely asked, “Would you like me to run you a bath?” as she took off her slippers.

Annalise’s wanted to say no, wanted to stop her, wanted her to just leave. But her voice couldn’t convey those words across. Her body sure needed a warm bath and since Tegan was offering, why not? She nodded in response because she was too weak and too shy or was too proud to even open her mouth.

Tegan was solemn with her own response but inside she was elated, her heart was probably throwing somersaults. Though as she walked into Annalise’s bathroom to run the bathwater, she paused to wonder why she was excited. It’s not like there was anything that was going to happen between them. Annalise had made it clear that she didn’t want any form of intimacy with her. She had straight up told her that she wasn’t the one for her. She turned on the faucet and sat on the edge of the tub. The sound of the water filling up brought that nervous feeling back. She dipped a finger into it to feel the temperature of the water. When she raised up her eyes from the tub, Annalise was standing there, half nude except for her panties. She stiffened, eyes pinned on her full and firm breast. Was she imagining this? She shut her eyes and opened them. Annalise was now standing closer. The feel of her body so close cleared out that imaginative thought. She got up, about to excuse herself, realizing that Annalise didn’t need her help after all. But the feel of Annalise hand on her arm weakened her at the knees.

“Stay. Have a bath with me.” Annalise was saying while unbuttoning her silk shirt. Tegan pushed her hair behind her ears. The rhythm in her heartbeat hiked up then slowed down. Helping Annalise, she took off her shirt when the last button came undone. There was an intense quietness as they both stood, looking into each others eyes. It was Annalise who brought a hand to Tegan’s face first. Tegan shut her eyes and leaned into the warmness her palm gave. Annalise’s hand moved toward under her chin, lifting the Latina’s face upward and planting a kiss on her lips. Her other hand was around Tegan’s waistline pulling her closer making their tummies kiss too. The feel of their skin touching sent a massive tremor that ran through Tegan’s entire body. The kiss was slow and soft at first until Annalise decided to invite her tongue to the party. Tegan’s previously weak knees couldn’t take the intensity of the moment. Unable to stand still, she collapsed into Annalise who held her up, preventing her from falling. But it wasn’t the kiss really, the faucet was still on and the bath tub had filled up to the brim and water had started running out of it and onto the bathroom floor. So it was the slipperiness that almost sent her falling.

Tegan turned off the faucet. They both laughed briefly until their eyes were locked in another gaze. Tegan tucked in her lips. She hated that her brain was not as muddled as Annalise’s, at least she wouldn’t be feeling like she was taking advantage of her.

“Do you really want this, Annalise?” she slowly asked.

“Didn’t I just ask you to take a bath with me?”

Tegan opened her mouth then closed it. That wasn’t the response she wanted. But she guessed she had to take it and not ruin her chances of getting that something she had hoped would happen.

Annalise took her hand. “I know how this looks. So I’m not gonna make you do what you don’t already want to. And I should be the one asking you if you want this. Do you, want this?”

Tegan ran a hand through her hair. How could she not want this? She wanted this. She wanted this so badly. Her every thought had been about this. So why wouldn’t she take it disregarding how this all looked.

She purposefully didn’t answer the question with words but with the pulling down of her pants. Annalise smirked. Tegan initiated the kiss this time around. And this time, the kiss they shared was fiery. Fiery as the burning and glowing desire for the want for each other had completely come out to play. It took them longer than they had expected to finally get a bath and even get out of the bathroom. But they did and the kissing, touching, fingering and sucking on each other continued into the bedroom and by the time they fell asleep, they were both exhausted, practically out of any form of physical strength. But they had both been satisfied to the fullest. And it felt like the beginning of something beautiful for Tegan, something like the planting of a seed that she couldn’t wait to water and watch it bloom. But for Annalise, it was just giving her raging hormones want it needed.

***END OF FLASHBACK***

.

.

.

***PRESENT DAY***

Annalise’s first thought was to get up and go right straight to the hospital Cora had told her Tegan was admitted. But as she tried outfits after outfits she began to realize what an irrational move it would be. Yet, she couldn’t wait another second not knowing exactly what state Tegan was in as Cora had not given her much to hold onto over the phone. The only thing she had said was that there were no serious damages made. But what if Cora had said that not to get her worried or just to keep her from coming to the hospital. She wasn’t sure which it was. But Cora had not failed to tell her that the hospital had called her right away as it showed that she was still Tegan’s next of kin. Annalise was certain that she had hinted that to get her jealous. So it was absolutely not irrational to go see for herself what the situation was. But deep down, she just wanted to go find out if Tegan and Cora were back together because there was every possibility that could happen.

She had stood in front of her mirror going on fifteen minutes now, trying every _goddamn_ dress in her closet but none seemed right. It was not like she was going on a date so she was bummed as to why picking and wearing the right dress mattered. Frustrated but mostly exhausted, she tumbled into her bed. She breathed. Her phone vibrated somewhere in the midst of the mess she had created. After a series of searching, she found it lying under a pile of dresses.

It had been Bonnie calling. She had also left a message.

****“Hi. Got back in town a couple of days ago. Been sorting out my place. Would love to see you.”** **

To say she was delighted was an understatement. She was super ecstatic. They both hadn’t spoken much or seen each other in a really long time. After Frank’s passing and the funeral, they had both grieved in a totally different way. While Annalise had stayed indoors, practically shutting herself from the rest of the world, Bonnie had taken a long overdue vacation. She had been away for months and during that time she had not spoken to anyone because she had turned off her phone so she could fully commit to grieving the true love of her life.

Annalise smiled at the text. She had missed Bonnie very much. It was something she wouldn’t readily admit. But it was true. She cared for Bonnie and to finally hear from her gave her an assuring feeling that she was alright.

She looked at the time. It was few minutes over the hour of nine. The day was still young to go out. She thought. So she typed.

****“Hey, Bonnie. Would be at yours in an hour. If that’s OK.”** **

Bonnie texted back almost immediately.

****“Sure! Or I could just come over.”** **

Annalise typed back. ****“OK! See you soon.”**** It revealed that she wasn’t ready to dive right back into the world so Bonnie offering to come to her instead was good enough for her. She definitely wasn’t sure she wanted people to see how ugly she looked or how unkempt her hair was or the bit of weight she had gained.

Bonnie’s text had made her completely rethink going to see Tegan. It was selfish and she knew it. She just thought it best to wait a bit longer, maybe give it a day or two so as not to appear too sentimental. Besides, she was sure Tegan didn’t want her there. If she did, wouldn’t she have called or texted her? But this was her over thinking the whole thing. Tegan had every right to not let her know about this. It was not like she cared or even if she did, she never showed it. And that was the _damn_ truth.

She took off the blue Chiffon top she had on and changed into a black t-shit. She was still on her sweat pants so she threw on a knitted sweater over the t-shirt. It was evident that today was not the day she would go visit Tegan. And she felt OK with her decision.

Before Bonnie arrived, she tried cleaning up her messiness. She was sitting in her living room when the doorbell went off. She didn’t know why exactly but she was nervous as she walked towards the door. It was just Bonnie for Pete’s sake. She thought to herself. Right before unlocking the keys, she adjusted her headscarf.

“Hi!” Bonnie said.

“Bonnie!” She smiled and hugged the blonde. “Good to have you back.”

She hugged her back. “Good to see you, Annalise.”

Disengaging their bodies from the embrace, Annalise could not take her eyes off of Bonnie. To say that she felt like a mess before was to make light the state of her sight.

“I couldn’t think of anything else to get you. So I got this.” She added, waving a bottle of Vodka before walking right passed her.

Annalise rolled her eyes. She couldn’t be any happier to share a glass or two with Bonnie. She did look like she needed a drink.

“How was your vacation?” She asked because asking her how she was suddenly seemed inappropriate when her looks had said it all. Bonnie was radiating and her aura took over the entire room. She felt ashamed. But it really was just Bonnie. She had seen her at her worse so there really was nothing to be ashamed of.

Bonnie took off her coat. But didn’t hand it over to Annalise. She just walked to where the mini closet was to hang it. “You do know it wasn’t a vacation, right?”

Annalise followed behind her, still mesmerized at the new and different woman in her living room. Bonnie’s hair had grown several inches longer. She had on a bobbed hairstyle and it bounced while she moved.

Annalise shrugged. “You sure don’t look anything like you’ve been grieving that’s for sure.” She said, rolling her big eyes.

Bonnie laughed. “You think so?” She sure didn’t. And to say that she didn’t find this surprising herself would be a lie. She wished she could say same for Annalise. But she couldn’t. If anything, she had thought Annalise would be having the time of her life now that everyone that was after her was either dead or dismissed by the law. She was a tad bit shocked that Annalise looked the way that she did, that she still was grieving.

Yes, Frank had turned out to be sort of a step-son to her. Yes, he was so dear to her. Yes, she understood that his loss would be hard on her too. But to think that she had let it get the best of her was really surprising. But then again it didn’t. Not when she knew Annalise blamed herself for his death. She blamed herself because she felt if she hadn’t gone digging up old, buried skeletons, maybe Frank would still be alive. But what was done was done. And it now felt like her duty to make Annalise come to terms with it. At the very least, she was trying to.

She didn’t respond. She just followed Bonnie into the kitchen and watched her get out from a drawer two tumblers which she placed on the countertop before planting concern eyes at her. “It’s been months, Annalise. You need to get a life.” She uncorked the bottle. “I’m sure Frank would have wanted you to.” She tucked in her lips, her eyes still on Annalise.

The mere mention of his name still brought pain to both their hearts. And the silence that followed after Bonnie said that showed it. But Bonnie was right. Frank definitely wouldn’t have wanted them to mourn him forever. He had chose to do what he did and no one was to be blamed for that.

Bonnie poured half a glass of Vodka into each tumbler. She walked around the counter and handed one over to her. Annalise took it, stared at it then back at her. “I dunno how to.” She said, looking away from the shorter woman.

“When was the last time you even got out of this house?”

“I dunno. A month, two maybe… I dunno.” She walked out of the kitchen back to the living room.

“You really need to, at least to get the sun. You look really awful.” she just had to say it. She picked up the bottle of Vodka and her tumbler and trailed behind her.

“I get it Bonnie. I’m a mess. But what is there to live for anyway.” She lowered herself into a couch. “I don’t want to practice Law anymore or teach. I don’t know who I am without those. I can’t seem to figure out what else I can do or could be doing. I dunno where to start from.” It was the first time Annalise was pouring out her grievances and how frustrated she really felt.

“How about starting by being with someone, having a relationship?”

Annalise rolled her eyes and huffed. She knew where Bonnie was going. “I don’t need a relationship, Bonnie. No one can handle this mess.” She gestured at herself.

Bonnie drank from her tumbler. “When was the last time you spoke to Tegan? She did leave me several messages on how you totally shut her out. That’s brutal.”

Annalise’s felt attacked. Her conscience stabbed her too. She wondered why Bonnie was all up in her business and why it felt like Bonnie was trying not to talk about herself.

But it appeared that Bonnie was in a state of euphoria. The vacation or sabbatical or whatever it was she had gone for sure had changed her greatly. Annalise didn’t not like it. She just felt Bonnie was trying too hard to cover up the hurt she still felt.

“Can we just drink and not talk.”

“No, Annalise,” she took a seat. “She is in love with you, you know that right?”

“Arghh! Yes. She told me.”

Bonnie’s eyes widened. “She did?”

“Yes. The last day of my trial.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Bonnie gave her a deadpan look. “I told her that I couldn’t promise or give her what I know she deserves.” Bonnie was disappointed to say the least. “And then I went and did something unforgivable.”

“What did you do?”

“I used her and decided that ignoring her was what was best for the both of us. I’ve hurt her too much.”

Bonnie didn’t know what to say. But she knew that familiar feeling all too well. She knew that no one that did get hurt by Annalise could stay mad at her forever. Instead they found themselves falling more and more in love with her. She knew that Tegan would only feel hurt for a minimal amount of time. Besides, she had told her how Annalise made her feel alive. And that said it all. Tegan was in that place that she had found herself in a countless number of times, stuck. Not just a bad kind because it was a good thing or at least that was what their brain had wired them to believe it was.

“Why don’t you try calling her and finding out if she’s still mad at you?”

“She’s not going to answer me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“She won’t because she was in an accident and Cora was the one who took her call the last time I called her.”

Bonnie gasped. “When was this?”

“Last night.”

“And you didn’t think that you owe it to her to go see her? Oh my god, Annalise.”

“I know. I know.”

Bonnie shook her head, this time completely devastated by Annalise’s actions. “Do you know if she’s OK?”

“I’m not sure.” Annalise couldn’t look her in the face.

Bonnie breathed. It would be no use to reprimand Annalise. What was done was done. She relaxed into the couch. There was a short silence.

“Remember what you told me when I came crying to you the first time Frank broke my heart?”

Annalise does remember. “That you would never let yourself think about a relationship or love because the hardest part was believing you deserved it.”

“Exactly! And you were right. But it doesn’t have to be hard. We all are deserving of love, and that includes you too, Annalise.” Annalise was about to interrupt her but she quickly added. “You are one person who deserves love more than anyone I know. So let love in. It would do you a whole lot of good. How do you think I got myself sane after losing Frank. I thought about his love for me, and if not that death had taken him, I’d still have that love. But the thought of knowing he truly loved me, keeps me going.” She paused. “What I’m trying to say is go see her, and tell her what is really in your heart.”

When did Bonnie get so wise was all Annalise could think as she listened to her talk. But she knew that she was right. She needed to stop pushing everyone who truly loved her away. She needed to give love a chance. She needed to let herself love somebody and not just anybody but Tegan.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”

“Smart ass.”

They both laughed.

“How about I drive you to go see her tomorrow.”

“OK!” She said hesitantly.

“But first, we need to do something about your looks. We don’t want you scaring her into a coma if she’s not already in one.”

“God, I hope not.”

They both laughed hysterically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any errors.
> 
> Next chapter would be uploaded in two days.
> 
> Thanks for being patient.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan immediately went to her message box and scrolled through it. She had several new messages but none was from the one person she would have wanted. Annalise. She felt a bit disappointed. Although when she decided to check her call log, she was surprised to see that Annalise had actually called her. But she found it odd that the call had been received...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still very much appreciate all your lovely comments and of course the kudos 💕🤗

***THE ACCIDENT***

Tegan left Caplan and Gold the moment the short hand on the clock was on nine and the long hand rested on twelve. It had been a long, exhausting day; not that she had had a lot to do at the office. But the new lawyer the firm had hired to fill up Annalise’s position was getting on her very last nerve. He was such an arrogant ass. His insubordination rattled her. She had on many occasions wished she’d just strangle him but she couldn’t. And even if she could, she really didn’t have any valid reason to do so. Yet, she hated seeing this five foot nine inches tall, lump of clay named Fergie. Which man named themselves Fergie? She had thought to herself severally. Everything about him had made her hate working at C&G even more. But that really wasn’t it. She had missed seeing Annalise when she walked into the building. She had missed bumping into her in the lobby or in the elevator or at her bathroom breaks. She had missed seeing her, her face, those large brown eyes and even hearing her voice, her laughter too. She missed their conversations. She had missed working on cases with her. Truthfully, she had missed everything about her. But to imagine that Annalise would without a second stop to think how hurtful it would be to push her away never crossed her mind. Yes, she knew Annalise could reject her or wouldn’t accept her invitation of love almost immediately. She just never saw her putting up a brick wall between them. If anything, she had hoped that they would still be friends, that they would still hang out, that they’d still call and text each other. She just never for once saw none of that not happening. So it got her so mad, mad to the point of thinking she hated Annalise. And hated her for bringing her so much pain. But did she really? It was an obvious no. She believed she could never hate her. Instead, she hated that she had let herself believe that finally getting to kiss and sleep with Annalise was some sort of confirmation that they would become an item. But Annalise’s cold actions had told her otherwise.

Tegan had had thoughts of quitting her job and the first time she mentioned it to Laurel Castillo, she had gone on to tell her how she didn’t think it was a wise decision and how she didn’t know anyone else who could handle the place quite like her and how she trusted her capabilities. The last time she had even brought it up, Laurel had ended up talking to the guys [the board of directors] upstairs and had had them triple her salary just to keep her from leaving. Tegan was stuck as it was. And it scared her because she couldn’t help but ponder on the why Laurel wanted her to stay so badly. It scared her because she was reminded of the fact that Laurel knew some of her dirty secrets; one being co-conspiring and actually murdering Jorge Castillo. And she was scared that she could at anytime use that against her if she dared leave. More so, she was also very aware that the apple never fell far from the tree. And with that, she made no mistake not thinking that Laurel could very much be just like her father. And this got her wondering if she was ever going to be free from the captivity that was the Castillo’s family, personified.

Her phone vibrated in the pocket of her coat immediately she got into her car and was driving out of the company’s parking lot. She had fifteen minutes earlier, sent Annalise her usual evening text and she had been waiting and hoping and even praying that she’d get a response. So with that anticipation and eagerness, she reached into her pocket for her phone, one hand on the wheel. She had hardly made the turning onto the main road when she took her eyes off it only for a second. An on coming vehicle with its owner driving way above the acceptable limit had not seen her car emerging out of the parking lot, ploughed into the left side of her car. Her airbag quickly went off and the shock from the collision sent her straight into unconsciousness. The paramedics arrived at the scene some fifteen to twenty minutes later and she was rushed to the hospital.

XXX

It was the second day after the accident. The time was eight-forty-nine in the morning. Tegan finally woke up from a twelve hour heavily sedated sleep. She had had dreams of Annalise and was somewhat hoping to find her lurking around though she didn’t. She had suffered a forearm fracture and minor glass cuts and bruises on the left side of her face. She was feeling all sorts of pain around her head and face still yet to realize her left arm was in a cast. Although the moment she tried sitting up, a sharp pain from the swelling around her upper arm region revealed its presence. She winced and groaned, as she continued trying to sit up.

She frowned to see Cora relaxed on the sofa, on her laptop with earplugs on. She noticed Tegan’s struggling out of the corner of her eyes. She quickly unplugged her ears, placed the laptop on the sofa and rushed to her bedside.

“Easy now.” Tegan fussed. “Just relax. I got you.” She said while making her lay back down. She then adjusted the bed, raising the head part of it before putting a pillow behind her back.

Tegan breathed. The pain she was feeling was becoming more apparent and causing her so much discomfort. She tightened her jaw.

“How do you feel?” Cora asked, her hands now in the pockets of her sweatshirt.

Tegan gawked at her as if to say don’t you have eyes? Can’t you already see that I’m in a _shitty_ lot of pain? “Can you please get someone to come give me something to ease this god forsaking pain.”

Cora didn’t mind Tegan’s rudeness. She understood perfectly so she excused herself to go get a nurse. She came back shortly with an ebony nurse with fancy box-braided hair and a comforting smile. She attended to Tegan as a professional would and gave her some ibuprofen before leaving.

Cora had watched quietly from the sofa. She got up to her bedside the moment they were alone in the room again. Tegan hadn’t been thinking straight but now she was and she found it really odd that Cora was here. She hadn’t forgotten so soon the conversation they had the last time they saw. How brutal she had been with her words. And it still hurt just thinking of it.

“What are you doing?”

Cora was confused. “What do you mean?”

Tegan forcefully swallowed. Though the pain was killing her, it was Cora’s presence that riled her. “I mean why are you here? Don’t you like have some job you need to be doing rather than babysit me.”

Cora folded her arms. She found that offensive but still, she kept her cool. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help, Cora.” She retorted, looking away from her. In that second, her phone came to mind.

Cora held back. She was trying to not say any hurtful words. She watched Tegan, wondering what her eyes were searching for. “What is it?”

“Where’s my phone?”

“It’s right here,” she said pointing towards the stool beside the sofa. “I’d get it.” She did and handed it over.

Tegan immediately went to her message box and scrolled through it. She had several new messages but none was from the one person she would have wanted. Annalise. She felt a bit disappointed. Although when she decided to check her call log, she was surprised to see that Annalise had actually called her. But she found it odd that the call had been received. “Annalise called?” She really wasn’t asking. Just pondering.

But Cora didn’t know that so she answered though hesitantly. “Yes. Yes, she did.”

Tegan looked up from her phone screen. “You took my call?”

“I, I did. Is there a problem with that?” She was beginning to get tired of Tegan’s grouchiness.

She was pissed. “You had no right to be taking my calls.”

Her voice hitched. “But she, she kept calling… others too… your phone, just kept ringing. What was I supposed to do?”

“Switch it off, that’s what. If it was such a bother to you.”

“I’m sorry. I was only helping.”

Tegan closed her eyes. She wasn’t going to allow Cora get in her head. “Well, thank you. You’ve done enough already. But you don’t need to be here anymore.”

Cora paused and took a long hard look at her. “So, what are you saying?”

“That I need you to leave. I can take care of myself.”

Cora had had it. She shook her head in disbelief. “Fine. I’d leave.” She went and packed up her things. But before she left, she added sternly. “Do well to get my name off your next of kin.”

Tegan didn’t respond. She just watched her exit the room angrily. She closed her eyes and tried to relax but the position of the bed was uncomfortable. She did need help readjusting it. She breathed. _So much for I can take care of myself._

XXX

Bonnie drove Annalise to see Tegan as she had suggested she would. All through the ride, Annalise didn’t say much. She let Bonnie do most of the talking but she would have preferred if Bonnie kept quite and just let the radio do the noise making. But she would have been more relaxed if there was absolute silence and she could hear herself think.

Bonnie may not have reprimanded Annalise for how she had acted and was still acting towards Tegan. But that didn’t mean Annalise didn’t reprimand herself. She did think about her actions and how cruel she had been to Tegan. She knew she had caused her a great amount of pain. She also couldn’t help but think about what Tegan’s reactions would be like when she saw her. She also thought about what she was going to say to her and how she was going to tell her she wanted them to be together. She wasn’t finding it easy and it got her really nervous.

They arrived at the hospital at noon. Bonnie was pretty excited to see that Tegan was okay. Annalise wasn’t as she felt great guilt. She had no idea that she had partially been the cause of the accident in a way. But seeing that Tegan was in so much physical pain, she felt bad knowing that she was also causing her pain, emotionally. After a little chit-chat, Bonnie excused herself so Annalise and Tegan could talk.

Annalise didn’t speak at first. She just fumbled with her fingers like a little child. Tegan on the other hand didn’t want to be the first to say something. But they needed to address the elephant in the room. “Why did you push me away, Annalise?” Tegan started. Her voice was soft.

Annalise stared at her for the first time. She could see pain in her eyes and it hurt her deeply. “I…I didn’t mean to, I just th…” She paused. _Did she really have any valid reason why? What would be the use of stating it if she did?_ It was pointless. It would only compound Tegan’s pain. “I’m sorry.” Was all she ended up saying.

Tegan would have liked to believe that. But she knew Annalise too well. She was never really sorry for being herself or acting in the way that seemed right to her. But she didn’t point any of these out. She took the sorry.

“Do you hate me?” Annalise asked. She hated herself right now.

Tegan was perplexed. She really did. But she didn’t say anything.

“You don’t have to answer it. I know you do.”

She adjusted on the bed to get comfortable. “I don’t ha… I’m still in love with you, Annalise… I know it’s pathetic. But I am.”

“But Cora…”

“What about her?”

“She took your call so…”

“There’s no Cora and I… not ever since I signed those divorce papers, and they never will be. So don’t use her as an excuse for treating me the way that you did. I’m really mad at you. But I don’t hate you.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” She paused and thought hard and long what to say but nothing really came up that would be like a soothing balm for Tegan’s wounds, wounds inflicted by her actions. “I’m sorry for being such an ass. I’m sorry for hurting you, for everything I did. I know I said I couldn’t give you the kind of love you deserve and I’m sorry I said that too…but I’m willing…”

“Annalise.” Tegan said to halt her. “I know… I mean I know you can’t give me back the love I have for you and, and that’s OK.” She tucked in her lips. “But let me love you, Annalise. I really want to. So would you let me? Is that too much to ask?”

Annalise shook her head. She hated how mushy she was feeling inside. She remembered what Bonnie had told her and decided to speak from her heart. “I can’t…” Tegan was about to protest. “Hear me out, please…” She got up from the single chair that she had earlier pulled towards Tegan’s bedside. “I can’t promise you anything but I’m willing to try…” Her breathing was slow. “I am because, because I can not _not_ have you in my life, too.” Tegan smiled, her heart fluttering. Annalise got really close to the bed, close enough to lean in. “I can’t afford to lose you.” she finished saying before kissing Tegan’s lips.

Tegan’s heart was full and giddy. She loved how everything had turned out. So did Annalise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —The next chapter would be uploaded pretty soon. I promise.  
> —Thanks to everyone following this story. It means so much to me 😁


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve couldn’t stand to see her tears. Incautiously, she pulled her into a warm, tender embrace and let Annalise sob into her expensive black Giogio Armani evening dress. Eve didn’t know when her hand went to Annalise’s hair. But she found herself stroking it and hushing her to calmness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally apologize for this not being posted sooner as I had said it would and excuse any unseen errors
> 
> Still completely grateful for the love 💕🤗
> 
> Selah!!! 🙏🏽

It was unarguably the most wonderful time of the year. Tegan had a list of favorite things to do at Christmas. Setting up the Christmas tree was number one on that list. As a little girl, she liked to be the one who got to place the star at the top of the tree. Her father had been a very tall, handsome, strong man and she always loved how he would pick her up, put her on his shoulder so she could reach all the way up to set the star at the peak of the tree. Second on that list was watching the Christmas lights come up on the tree for the very first time. It was such a delight to her eyes and it always did lit up everything on the inside of her in inexplicable ways. And third on that list, was opening up gifts on Christmas morning. She was never not pleased at how astonished each family member appeared to be when they opened their gifts. It didn’t matter what they’d gotten; whether it was small or big or it wasn’t what they wanted or that they already knew what was inside the box. They always acted really surprised. That was something that truly amazed her and she looked forward to those moments, always because it brought indescribable joy to her soul.

But moving to a new place around this time of the year wasn’t as wonderful as she had imagined. She had always known moving to come with that child-like excitement but not this time around. For a fact that Annalise didn’t enjoy putting and setting up things in place while using the fact that she couldn’t get away from work was such a bummer. She hated that Annalise no longer showed any of all that eagerness that she had the first time they had talked about living together. Their relationship was just three months old at the time. Although, it had taken another two months before they did get into action by renting a studio apartment up on Cricket Avenue down in Ardmore, PA. Choosing Ardmore had not been a one time decision as they had had other options like New Hope and Doylestown to choose from. But all things considered, they picked Ardmore for so many reasons though the major being that it was just a quick drive west out of Philadelphia. Tegan was yet to quit her job at C&G at the time so they had needed a place not so far away. Annalise had also been looking to get a job at Bryn Mawr College even when she constantly stated she never wanted to see the four walls of a classroom again. Nonetheless, she went through not practicing. Tegan had thought it a wrong career move as she would rather have her practice than teach. But Annalise had felt the great need to continue impacting the knowledge she had on the future generations of true Lawyers. And she had chosen Bryn Mawr for the very obvious reason that it was built for the empowering of women and women education in mind. She thought it was a place well suited for her regardless of the fact that she was going to be paid less than twice what she earned at Middleton though she had made it quite clear that she wasn’t doing it for the money.

It was now a little over six months that they had been together as a couple. It was still so surreal to her that they had been dating that long. It did very much feel like a dream. Even if it was, she sure as hell didn’t want to wake up from it. And every time she thought about it, she felt a deep sense of gratitude to God. It had been such a run, a thrilling journey but there was no mistaking it. It hadn’t been easy too. At first, Tegan had feared that Annalise had just wanted to get her rocks off and didn’t want any thing serious. Thankfully, that had not been the case. Nonetheless, Annalise was yet to tell her she loved her back; like really use those three words. And that made her have certain reservations about their relationship and what it meant to Annalise. She wondered if Annalise was all in because she was in, all the _goddamn_ way to the finish line.

Although, Tegan did think that Annalise had been such a great girlfriend. She hadn’t fogotten so soon how she’d been there when she got out of the hospital. How she had always made sure she was comfortable and had had everything she wanted or needed. Annalise had literally been at her beck and call; going grocery shopping for her, helping her dress her wounds, cooking her meals and even suggesting to feed her sometimes, or just simply being a great company. Tegan had been grateful for all of those things though she had sometimes thought that Annalise had been overcompensating for the times she had caused her pain and not because she really cared for her. Be that as it may, she did find herself loving Annalise more and more with each passing day. So, it was only fair that she needed to hear those words come out of Annalise’s mouth.

Sometimes, she did pretend like it didn’t matter whether she did tell her she loved her back because when she thought of how super great their sex life was, it proved that Annalise did. She was good at showing and expressing that love in bed and she was crazy at how Annalise made her feel every time they did have sex. It didn’t matter where or when. It didn’t matter if it was previously planned or impromptu. In the end, she was always sexually pleased.

Christmas was in three weeks. Her arm had healed tremendously in a way that it was hard to tell that she had fractured it if not for the scars. She could now do most of the things she couldn’t do in the last five months and driving was one of them. She had made plans to drive out to one of those shops in town where they sold Christmas trees before the week ran out. Although, the running around and making sure their apartment was in shape before Christmas and transferring legal documents and leadership at C&G to its new partners seemed to take up most, if not all of her time. She ended up getting caught up in it all and totally forgot about getting a Christmas tree.

XXX

***FLASH-FORWARD***

It was a Saturday morning, a week to Christmas day. Annalise had quickly rushed out to pick up some bottles of eggnog from a nearby store. Tegan was home when the house telephone rang. She quickly rushed to answer it.

“Hi. Tegan speaking.”

“Tegan! It’s Celestine.”

“Hey. Merry Christmas, Celestine.” Tegan said excitedly.

“Is Annalise there with you?”

Tegan ignored the fact that she hadn’t sent her wishes back. “No. No, she’s out.”

“OK…”

“Is everything alright?” She asked, now finally sensing the sadness in Celestine’s voice. There was a short silence. “Celestine.” Tegan said when she heard silent sobs. “Celestine! Are you alright?”

“Sorry. Could you please tell Annalise, could you please tell her that our ma..ma passed. She died in her sleep last night.”

Tegan’s heart dropped. She slowly lowered herself to the polished wooden floor. She was about to say how sorry she was for her loss when she heard Celestine talk to someone in the background.

“I do have to go now. Would you have her call me back. Thanks and bye.”

She held the phone to her chest and stayed in that position for a long time. When she finally snapped out of her sombering mood, she got up and prepared herself for when Annalise got back home.

There was no one in the world who found it easy conveying such kind of news but Tegan would be gentle and subtle with her delivery when she told Annalise. She would hold her hand and try to calm her down. She would take her time despite Annalise’s impatience. And when she would be able to get the news out, she would hug her tightly and let her cry on her shoulder for however long that she cried for. She would make sure to be there when Annalise called Celestine. She would do the most for Annalise, when she received phone calls from family members and friends and colleagues; like rubbing her shoulders or back or holding her hand or giving her sweet kisses or just hugging her when the need arose. One thing she wouldn’t do was talk. Tegan had never really known the right words to say when it came to moments like this. She knew she couldn’t just read out grieving notes written by famous people this time around. So, what she did do was ask what she could do to help out with funeral arrangements as it so appeared that the family weren’t waiting a second to put Ophelia Harkness in her final resting place.

Two days later, they flew to Memphis. Annalise slept through the flight and it was easy for Tegan to let herself breathe. When they arrived, they were greeted by Celestine, Annalise’s brother, Theo, her father and a couple of family members that Tegan hadn’t think she would meet anytime soon. Celestine hugged them both and took them straight to Annalise’s old room that she had fixed up for them.

Bonnie flew in later that same day though she did put up at a hotel since the Harkness home was overwhelming occupied. Although, first thing the following day, she drove the car she had rented out there to see what she could help out with. But everything had been taken care of. Some of the women in the family had either cooked or baked something nice and drinks had been bought. The living room was all set up like a funeral parlor as Ophelia had wanted. She had made it clear on several occasion that no one took her body away from her home until it was time to lower her into a grave.

The Reverend had been the first to arrive aside of the family members. It was eight when guest began trooping in. And before nine, the house was filled with people. Ophelia looked deadly gorgeous in the all white lacey gown with embroidery, a lustrous grey wig and faded red lipstick that they had worn her. There was a lady in her mid fifties already seated on a grand piano playing dirges. The mood was dampening and the tears flowed from the eyes of many. The service was short and precised. And just right after it, the small crowd conveyed to the cemetery where the last goodbyes and final blessings were made.

After that, a few guest and well wishes re-conveyed at the Harkness resident for refreshments. The mood remained somber. There was little or no laughter. No one had even giggled or chuckled except when the Reverend had said something funny while he gave his eulogy earlier.

Eve had received an email from Bonnie and had not failed to show up for Annalise. She had loved Ophelia like her own mother even though they had never really had any heartfelt conversation. She just knew she loved her because she had birthed the woman she had been in love with the longest. But it was not the only reason why she did. Ophelia’s life had been inspiring to her from the many stories Annalise had told her about her and those stories had depicted what a strong, tenacious person Ophelia Harkness had been. And Eve found her admirable.

Annalise was surprised to say the least when she saw Eve in her family’s living room the minute she walked in. She clearly remembered not inviting her or even telling her her mother had died. So, it was a true surprise to have her present.

Eve walked up to where she was and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Annalise,” taking her hand in hers and squeezing it so tenderly.

“Thank you. Thank you for coming.” Annalise’s expression told Eve want she really meant. _But how could she hear such a news and not come?_ Despite their not ending up together as she had hoped, she still needed every excuse or reason to see Annalise damning whatever the circumstances might be.

Annalise took her hand and led her out into the open lawn so they could talk without the many loud voices yapping many nothings and somethings all at the same time. When they were outside, Annalise’s eyes grew moist. She didn’t know exactly why she was crying because she thought she had cried too much already and didn’t think she had any tears left in her. But she did. And she was famous for her water works at least with Eve, she was.

Eve couldn’t stand to see her tears. Incautiously, she pulled her into a warm, tender embrace and let Annalise sob into her expensive black Giogio Armani evening dress. Eve didn’t know when her hand went to Annalise’s hair. But she found herself stroking it and hushing her to calmness.

Tegan had been upstairs helping Celestine with a wardrobe malfunction. When she came back downstairs, she searched for Annalise. She finally stopped looking when she saw her and Eve through a window. To say she didn’t feel slighted by what she saw was an understatement though the mood and her surrounding didn’t allow her fume or act irrational. She just went back upstairs to sit down in the room her and Annalise had slept in and had sex the night before. She hated how seeing Annalise with Eve made her feel but she couldn’t help but feel jealous. There was always going to be Eve before her. That was the truth and she feared that Annalise might not love her enough to make any serious commitments with her. Yes, they had been together for months now, she felt Annalise was still holding back in a sort of way. She laid down on the bed and a whiff of Annalise scent filled her nostrils. _Damn_ , she hated how much she loved her. She hated how much she may never have her completely to herself. The one thing that gave her comfort was the fact that she was the one currently with Annalise _not_ Eve. She was completely hers, at least for the time being. Eve sure didn’t have to be a threat.

Tegan laid there for the rest of the wake and didn’t know when she snoozed. It was the loud, thundering voices downstairs that woke her up.

“Is just my brother and his silly friends.” Annalise said from where she sat in a chair.

Tegan leaned on an elbow, breathed, held it in for a while before letting it out with a yawn. “How long have I been out?”

“Four hours.”

“That long.” Annalise nodded. “O my, I’m so sorry I disappeared.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t have to be. It’s been a long ass couple of days and in your defense you really haven’t had that much sleep.”

Tegan smiled because it was true. In the past nights, she had mostly been awake keeping an eye on Annalise and even when she managed to fall asleep, she was awoken by Annalise either screaming, groaning, mumbling or sobbing. Tegan would cuddle her back to sleep and find herself unable to fall asleep after that.

“How do you know how long have been asleep?”

“I had actually come looking for you. I wanted to introduce you to Eve. But when I found you sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up.”

“You would have.” Tegan said disappointingly. She took a sitting position and stretched out her short limbs.

“That would have been a very unfair thing to do.”

Tegan didn’t think so though. She sure would have loved to meet Eve, to finally get acquainted with one of the finest Death row Attorneys she had ever known and admired from a distance. But honestly, she really wanted to meet Eve just because she wanted to see how Annalise would introduce her. If she would introduce her as her girlfriend. It was childishly-silly but it meant more to her what she was to Annalise. The title would have at least given her some hope that she was completely Annalise’s in a way. And now, she couldn’t help but think that maybe Annalise didn’t wake her up because she really didn’t want her to meet Eve. And she hated herself for thinking such.

The thundering voices came up again startling Tegan out of her thoughts. She cursed under her breath. She couldn’t wait to be back in her quiet house once again. The room was a bit dark now that night was fast approaching. Tegan noticed Annalise had changed into something casual and looked ready for bed.

“You’d get to meet her some other time.” Annalise said, getting up and joining her on the bed.

Tegan didn’t feel the need to respond neither did Annalise say another word after that. They both just laid there, quiet, staring at the old ceiling fan rotating slowly for a while.

Then Annalise turned to her side, looked at Tegan and asked. “If today was your last, what would you ask for? I mean what would you want that you don’t already have now?”

Tegan thought for a moment. “I dunno… I think I already got what I want.”

“Really?” Annalise was shocked. “What’s that?” She asked, stunned that it only took her a minute to answer.

Tegan replied with a smile. “You… you’re all I ever wanted. You’re all I want now, forever possibly.” She mirrored Annalise’s position on the bed. “And what about you?”

Annalise looked at her before resting her eyes on the wall behind her. “I dunno. It’s just someone asked me this today and I didn’t know what to say…”

“Eve?” Tegan grew jealous again. She wondered why Eve had asked her such a question.

Annalise nodded. “She also reminded me of how life’s so short.” Tegan remained quiet. She could see that Annalise’s mind was whirling. “And as I think about it… I can only come up with one thing. Being happy. I’ve never really let myself be happy…” She paused and breathed. “…so I guess happiness is what I want. Yes, I want to be happy.” She said, sitting up.

Tegan knew and had seen first hand how difficult it was for Annalise to truly let herself enjoy any form of happiness. How she struggled with accepting anything that brought her even the slightest bit of happiness. So, it was a joy to see her finally come to terms with it.

“Come here.” Tegan said, opening her arms.

Annalise scooted over with her butt then laid her head on Tegan’s bosom. Tegan wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. _If only Annalise knew how truly happy she was to have her in her life._ They fell asleep in each others arms and the very next morning, they flew back to Pennsylvania. When they arrived they were jet lagged and they fell asleep immediately they got home.

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and continuing to be a part of this.


	6. All I Want for Christmas is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan slowly peeled off the wrap and gently opened the box. There was another smaller box inside it. She looked up at Annalise. Her game face was strong. Tegan grew nervous as she unwrapped the second box. She opened up the box and again she found a much more smaller box. At this point, she began to think a lot of things; What was the use of this stalling and why had Annalise decided to make this so puzzling...

**♡♤CHRISTMAS DAY♤♡**

Christmas day didn’t seem like it’d be any special. Tegan had totally forgotten to get the Christmas tree. Annalise was still grieving. It just didn’t feel right to celebrate though Tegan hadn’t failed to get Annalise’s gifts wrapped. She could only wonder if she’d get any from Annalise. But she didn’t let herself dwell on it. That morning, she had woken up around past four to use the toilet. She had too many glass of eggnog the previous night and it had upset her stomach. She had even gone to bed quite early too. When she was finished on the toilet, she felt thirsty and decided to go get a bottle of water from the kitchen. As she sauntered out of the short corridor and into the dimly lit living room, she noticed colorful Christmas lights blinking at one corner of the room. She was very certain that that hadn’t been there before. She flipped a switch on and was stunned to find out that it was a little Christmas tree. She paused to look around, wondering if she was in the right apartment. She definitely was. She walked up to where the tree was, there she also noticed three wrapped gift boxes just beside it. She gasped, trying to stifle her excitement. She squatted and picked up one of the large sized boxes. It was pretty light. She shook it gently and listened. It didn’t make a sound. She placed it back in its previous position. She closed her eyes and smiled. This had got to be the best Christmas surprise. She forgot all about the bottle of water, walked back to their room and tiptoed into bed. She laid down and stared at Annalise for a really long time. She had never loved her more than she did right now. She finally turned her back to her and tried to get herself to sleep. But the excitement was too much she laid awake contemplating on what Annalise might have gotten her.

Annalise had woken up before Tegan and decided to make them breakfast. She had absolutely no idea that her girlfriend had already seen the surprise. She was still in the kitchen when Tegan woke up. She walked in there, stretching her limbs. She moved closer to where Annalise was, snaked her arms around her tummy from behind.

“Merry Christmas, babe.” Her voice was raspy from the dryness in her throat.

“Merry Christmas. Sleep good?”

“Mm hmm!” She squeezed, tightening her grip and said. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“The Christmas tree.”

Annalise put down the bottle of milk she was previously holding, turned around to face her and kissed her on the forehead. “I hope you like it?”

She nodded. “I love it, I really do.” She kissed Annalise. “But how? I mean when did you get it?”

“I drove out last night while you were asleep. It was the only good one I could find.”

“It’s okay… you don’t know how much this means to me, Annalise.”

“Alright,” she smiled.”It’s just a tree, a tiny likkle twee.”

“It doesn’t matter. I still love it and I love you.” She kissed Annalise very tenderly.

“I hope you’re hungry.”

Tegan gave Annalise a seductive look. “Uh huh! Not for food though.”

Annalise smirked, nodded her head several times then put on a serious face. “So what’s gonna happen to all of these? Don’t tell me I wasted my time making these?” she pointed to the scrambled eggs, toast with butter sauce.

“We could eat those, later. Right now, I want to eat up my girlfriend…” Tegan said in a smoky way, tugging at Annalise’s pant zipper.

“OK. OK!” She held Tegan’s hands, stopping her. “Why. Don’t we. Open up. The gifts first…” Tegan pouted with a frown. “…and then I’m all yours. Huh! Come on.” Tegan finally relaxed and allowed her lead her to the living room and towards the Christmas tree. They both lowered themselves to the wooden floor, simultaneously.

Tegan had quietly placed her gifts at the side of the tree before walking into the kitchen earlier. So, she swiftly insisted that Annalise opened hers first.

Annalise could tell right a way which were hers. She drew closer to herself the two boxes wrapped in similar gift wraps of jade greens and pepper reds. She unwrapped and opened the first box and found a pair of dangling earrings and a necklace with a ruby love-shaped pendant. The earrings had the exact same love-shaped design.

“Aw, these are beautiful. Thank you.” Annalise really liked them because she quickly wore the earrings on. She shook her head from side to side, making it dangle.

It made Tegan laugh. She felt relieved as she had been skeptical about the gift before though she couldn’t wait for Annaise to open up the next box. It was the best gift if she could say so herself. As Annalise unwrapped it, Tegan closed her eyes. Annalise noticed and arched her brows.

“What’s in here?” Tegan’s expression got her curious.

“Open it up and find out for yourself.”

Annalise was pensive but she did open the box to find two tickets to Paris. Tegan had gotten the tickets because she remembered Annalise had mentioned it once or twice in their conversations how she had missed out on going there when she had had the chance to. So, she really wanted to be the one to give her that seemingly lost opportunity back _and_ she also wanted to visit and experience the famous City of Love for herself too.

Annalise was in complete awe as she stayed staring at the tickets. The date written on it was several months away and it had fallen at the time when she would have her first leave off work. She couldn’t imagine the troubles Tegan must have had to go through. She definitely owed Tegan one, big time. She leaned in, kissed Tegan and thanked her.

She lowered her butt back down with a grin on her face. She too was extremely excited for Tegan to open her own gifts. She pushed one box towards her, the very same one that Tegan had picked up and scrutinized earlier that morning.

Tegan smiled, wondering what was inside it. She looked at Annalise who had effortlessly put on a perfect poker face. She definitely didn’t want to give off whatever feeling she was feeling deep inside. She really wanted Tegan to be surprised.

Tegan slowly peeled off the wrap and gently opened the box. There was another smaller box inside it. She looked up at Annalise. Her game face was strong. Tegan grew nervous as she unwrapped the second box. She opened up the box and again she found a much more smaller box. At this point, she began to think a lot of things; What was the use of this stalling and why had Annalise decided to make this so puzzling? But she didn’t give off her frustration or impatience. She nicely repeated her previous actions. This time, she found a small, black velvet case sitting pretty. She held a hand to her mouth and glanced at Annalise. She hoped it was not what she was thinking. Yet, she really hoped it was what she was thinking. She tried stifling her nervousness and excitement all in that moment. She dipped her hand in and pulled up the case. Annalise was sitting on her knees, very eager now. When Tegan flipped the lid, she cried at the shiny diamond ring glittering back at her.

“Annalise,” She said tremulously, her hand now back to her lips.

Annalise was the one who pulled the ring out and planted warm eyes on Tegan. She adjusted, bringing herself closer to Tegan. She shut her eyes for a brief minute. She cleared her throat then gently took Tegan’s left hand.

“I don’t want you to think for a minute that I haven’t thought this through, what I’m about to do because I have. I really have…” Her voice was shaky, filling up with many emotions. She let go of Tegan’s hand and rubbed her palm against her lap. She couldn’t believe how _freaking_ nervous she was. She had to be. She had never seen herself proposing to a woman, not ever. “…In you have I found happiness and in you have I found love… and I know that there’s no one else in this world that I’d rather spend forever with, but you. I. Love. You, Tegan Price.” She paused, now really staring into Tegan’s glistening eyes, which made her even more emotional. _Oh, how Tegan had longed for Annalise to say those words to her and she had in the most special way ever_. “So will you do me the honors of being my wife?” Tegan had both her hands clasped to her face. She was flushed out. Annalise words left her dumbfounded.

“Please, say something.” Annalise said, completely scared now. “What do you say? Please, say yes.”

Tegan chuckled, nodding her head vigorously in acceptance.

“I need words, babe. Words…”

“Yes, yes. I say yes.” her voice was soft.

Annalise slipped the ring into her finger and pulled her in for a thrilling kiss that lasted well over ten seconds maybe more. Then they hugged each other. Tegan couldn’t hold it in anymore and a cascade of shiny, joyful tears trickled down her cheeks. Her chest was full. This was the best Christmas she had ever had, hands down.

In the very uncomfortable embrace that seemed to go on forever, Tegan whispered into Annalise’s ears. “I love you, Annamae Harkness.”

Annalise squeezed her tighter. She was teary herself. She was more than grateful for this moment because everything in the world felt right in this moment. She had never felt so sure about anything before but this one thing that she had done right, she had not a single doubt. She had not known happiness like this. It was a happiness that filled her heart, making it leap inside her chest. It was such a beautiful, wonderful feeling. She was grateful to finally have it.

***THE END***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how far I've written. So this probably is the last Chapter for this story.
> 
> Thanks to every single one of you who commented and made writing this so much fun... You made a girl so happy 💕
> 
> I'd definitely write more fanfics of these two in the future
> 
> #TEGALISE FOREVER


	7. Damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hurt her that they were here, in this place— an irredeemable fix...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to continue this story as I got quite a few readers wanting more.
> 
> Do NOT be alarmed at this beginning 🥶

How could the one person you love, couldn’t live without turn out to be the same person you couldn’t stand being around and couldn’t wait to get away from? This was the one question that plagued her thoughts. She stared out from the car window at the house up in Manhattan. She and her wife had lived there for the last six years before their marriage came crumbling. They had made so many memories there. Both happy and sad ones. But the house was now up for sale. It was up for sale because neither one of them wanted to give it up for the other as a settlement. After much dispute, they ended up mutually deciding to sell and split the sale money, equally.

She had come to pick up some paper work and work clothes as she had moved out some weeks prior to the house being put up for sale since their divorce would be complete in a week. She breathed a long nervous breath, picked up her purse from the passenger’s seat and got out of the car. She stared at the sale sign for a relatively long time before forging ahead towards the huge mahogany door. She slowly unlocked the door with her keys, breathed heavily before going inside. She was sure no one would be at home yet she found herself being extremely nervous as she stepped one foot into the living room. It only showed how much she would hate to see her soon to be ex-wife.

She put down her purse on the couch and stood akimbo. Everything was neat as it always were. She turned to her left, shrugging off her coat as she took a short flight of stairs leading to their large kitchen to get water to quench her sudden thirst. She paused at the sight of a bottle of Vodka and a half empty or was it half filled tumbler on the countertop. She frowned, throwing her coat on top of one of the high kitchen chairs.

 _So she still drank after all these years of being somber_? She thought to herself.

As she marched to clear the countertop, a groggy yet commanding voice halted her from the kitchen door.

“Don’t you dare touch my drink.”

She turned around and saw Annalise still in her night robe. Tegan retracted her arms that had been ready to grab the bottle and the tumbler.

“What are you doing here? I thought we both agreed to move out once the sale sign went up.”

Annalise ignored her. She just slouched her hankered body towards her drink. She picked the tumbler up and gulped down its content then slammed it back down making a thumping sound. She picked up the bottle and lazily walked out of the kitchen leaving a bewildered Tegan.

“I’m talking to you, Annalise.”

Annalise didn’t stop or say a word. She just kept walking away. Tegan followed her. She really hated it when Annalise ignored her.

“Annalise!”

“What?” She barked, “Can’t a woman hurt in peace?” meeting her gaze.

Tegan’s mouth went agape. She leaned the weight of her body on her right leg. “You’re not the only one hurting, Annalise. Besides, you brought this on us. I am the one hurting more.” Annalise huffed and continued walking away. “You haven’t even had the decency to apologize for cheating on me, Annalise.”

Those words stopped Annalise in her tracks. “You think you’re a saint in all of this? That I’m the only one to blame for our failing or is it failed marriage?” She shook her head and huffed again.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I don’t have the time to argue, Tegan. Just let me be.” She adjusted the drooping hand of her robe before smartly alighting the short steps leading back to the living room.

Tegan stood for a minute pondering about what Annalise had just said. She shook her head and trailed after Annalise. “You’re not going to make me feel bad for wanting a divorce, OK.”

“No one is making you feel anyway, Tegan. I just hope you’re being honest with yourself on why you want out.” Annalise took a seat on the soft, grey, velvety couch. She pushed the cushions aside making enough room to stretch out her legs.

Tegan tucked in her lips and thought for a moment. _What did she mean?_ She was totally honest with her reasons for wanting to divorce her. She wiggled out of her thoughts and stared at Annalise, who was doing a good job of not being bothered by her presence. Tegan wanted to continue their conversation but she really needed to get on with what had brought her here in the first place. She swiftly turned her head towards the large French window that gave a fine view of their driveway when a car pulled up outside. She couldn't help but wonder who it was.

Annalise’s lawyer, Maya Brooke, walked in through the main door, holding some files in her hand and a black purse. She looked neat and very serious as always. She said hello with a mean smirk to Tegan before addressing her client. Tegan took it as her cue to leave so she made her way towards their bedroom.

While she rummaged her side of their previously shared closet, she continued to ponder on Annalise’s words. _Had she been too much in a haste to dispose of their marriage?_ It didn’t seem wise to keep holding onto it. She didn’t think they’d survive it if they stuck together. If Annalise had cheated on her with an entirely different person that would have been different. But she had cheated on her with Eve. Eve that she had not seen as a threat for a very long time. But she had always known. She had always known Eve was always going to come first in Annalise’s life. She thought herself dumb to think that would ever change, to think that being Annalise’s wife meant she was number one. She sighed before pulling out three business suits, a couple chiffon tops and skirts from their hangers, threw them into an open suitcase. She click-clacked her way out of the closet into the room and towards their bedside drawer. She drew it out and took out a white file. She scrutinized it and every single piece of paper was intact. She went back into the closet, threw the file into the suitcase, zipped it up and exited the room.

As she approached the living room, she slowed down her movement so she could eavesdrop on Annalise and Maya’s conversation. But they were whispering. She paused but couldn’t hear a thing. It seemed the sound of her heels had probably given her away and they had stopped talking. She adjusted her blouse, placed her hand on the handle of her suitcase and cat-walked into the living room. Maya looked up from the file in her hand and met Tegan’s gaze. Tegan looked away from her and at her Annalise. But she didn’t bother giving her the audience. She just pretended to be engrossed in whatever was in the file in her own hands. Tegan left them to quickly pick up her coat from the kitchen. She came back, picked up her purse and left the house without saying goodbye.

It hurt her that they were here, in this place— an irredeemable fix. She couldn’t help but hate that it felt like she couldn’t keep a marriage. First, it was Cora and now Annalise. The only difference was that she was the one asking for a divorce and not the other way round. What even hurt the most was that they couldn’t even stand being in the same room. She got into her car, wiped a tear that had rolled out of her left eye and drove back to her office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> Feedbacks are welcomed and they'd determine if I'd post more 😁


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan knew she was enjoying every bit of power she had over Annalise— that she apparently was at her mercy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedbacks, everyone. Duly appreciate you all 😊

Price & Winterbottom was a modern firm with an egalitarian vibe. Its openness to diversity was like bait drawing in a diverse list of clients daily. The co-managing partners had hired six other lawyers with the number of females taking the lead. They had one equity partner, two associates and three contract attoneys over a span of four years since the firmʼs inception. These lawyers handled most of their cases. But from time to time Price and Winterbottom made themselves available to take on some of the big and/or complicated cases.

Bonnie was in the lobby about to bid a client goodbye when Tegan walked in. She could sense that she was upset as she watched her march angrily into her office barely acknowledging her or the client who had gleefully greeted her. Just after the client had exited the building, she went to Tegan’s office.

“Is everything OK?”

Tegan shrugged. She wasn’t in the mood to converse or in the mood for one of Bonnie’s pep talks either. She simply wanted to be left alone. Yet, Bonnie stood at the door waiting for her to say something. She didn’t. Instead of taking that as a cue to leave, she invited herself in.

“Itʼs Annalise, right?” She said after shutting the glass door.

Tegan rolled her eyes. She didn’t have to say a thing for Bonnie to know that Annalise had everything to do with her sour look. It had been this way in the last couple of weeks since their divorce train had set in motion.

“She’s so selfish. Can’t even think of anyone but herself for once.” She fumed.

At that, Bonnie took a seat. She knew this was going to be one long conversation after all.

“You know she’s still cooped up in that house. She even invited her lawyer friend over.” Her tune could very well depict her thoughts of Annalise screwing with her lawyer. It was preposterous. But she didn't mind. “It’s evident she has no plans on leaving as not one of her things are packed yet.” She paused and thought for a minute. She huffed. “I really hope she isn’t planning to secure the house for herself— she must be a joker if she thinks I’ll let that happen. Oh, Iʼll so sue her ass for everything sheʼs worth.”

By now, Bonnie was already acquainted with Teganʼs raves and rants. These were just empty threats. Bonnie already thought she sounded like a broken record even. Still, she gave her a listening ear because there wasn’t much she could do. She was sad to see the two people she loved so dearly go through this. She had hoped that they’d work things out. But it was evident that that was never going to happen. The least she could do was be there for them in the best possible way that she could.

“Did she at least give any reasons why she hasn’t moved out yet?”

“I don’t care if she has one. We both agreed. She can’t go back on her words.”

“True. But what if she just can’t let go, of the house, of the memories, of y—” She pinched herself, hoping Tegan didnʼt catch that last part of her sentence. “That’s one thing Annalise finds hard to do.” she quickly added.

Just as Tegan was about to respond, her phone bleeped. She picked it up. It was a message from Annalise. She opened it.

**I’d like for us to talk. Iʼd appreciate it if you could come by the house later tonight.**

Tegan scoffed at the message.

_What was there to talk about? Had she not seen her a couples minutes ago and had preferred to be silent on her than have a conversation?_

She didn’t respond to the text. She was certain of not honoring the invitation.

Meanwhile, Bonnie just stared at her wondering what the text she had received was about.

“Itʼs Annalise.” She said as if she had read Bonnie's mind. “I donʼt care if sheʼs finding it hard. Pfft! She should find it hard. She sure as hell deserves every hurt sheʼs feeling right now. Iʼm not sorry for that. Besides, sheʼs not even sorry for her actions so why should I be? She didnʼt even stop to think about how this was going to ruin us. No, she just didnʼt care. Cheating on me with Eve, and repeatedly too, is unforgivable.” She shook her head listlessly. 

Bonnie breathed. She didnʼt think her days would be filled with talks of Annaliseʼs unfaithfulness. If anything, she thought the new twist in one of their current case would be top on her list of things to discuss. But no, Tegan just had to keep letting her emotions get the best of her and neglecting everything about work seemed OK. And Bonnie felt more like a Therapist each passing hour she spent with Tegan. It was becoming overwhelming. But as a good colleague _and_ friend that she was, she had to be there for her even for Annalise as she definitely didnʼt want to take sides.

“If thereʼs one thing I know about Annalise, is that she might never readily say those words— that sheʼs sorry or admit her wrongs. But subtle actions like her either going completely silent or consuming large amouts of alcohol, those say a lot. She might be trying to say sorry without using words.” Bonnie relaxed her back on the chair. “You just need to read in between the lines.”

Tegan huffed. Moving in her chair restlessly. She hated to think that Bonnie could be right.

_But why would Annalise not just say the words? Why did she have to be an ass about everything? Why did she have to make everything so damn difficult? Why did she have to be difficult at all? Maybe she could consider forgiving her if she said she was sorry. Maybe she would let it all go._

But then, forgiving her wouldnʼt change the fact that Annalise had betrayed her trust. It wouldnʼt stop her from feeling so much hurt and pain. It definitely wouldnʼt translate to them coming back together as a couple or as anything even. They were over as it seemed. Of what use would a sorry do?

Yet, deep within, Tegan would like very much to save her marriage. She had come to hate the idea of letting go of the things that truly mattered. She was tired of abandoning them when they became too difficult to handle. For peteʼs sake, she was a damn good lawyer so great at fixing other peopleʼs problems. Why did she always have to choose the easy way out when it came to her own problems? But it wasnʼt as if fixing them was easy. Because it wasnʼt. Annalise wasnʼt even making it any easier. So, being irrational felt right. She was hurting majorly and the hurt wouldnʼt allow her consider the idea of fixing her problems. Running away seemed like the next best thing to do.

“I do not have the time to be playing Sherlock Holmes, Bonnie. If she is sorry, she should just say it. Itʼs not so hard.”

But it was a hard word for Annalise to say. Bonnie knew this and she was certain Tegan did too.

“What did her message say?” Bonnie queried as the unsettling curiousity in her needed calming.

“Sheʼs requesting my presence. She wants to talk.” She said getting up from her seat and walking to stare out the window. “But Iʼd have you know that I do not feel the need to go. Iʼm not going.” Her back still to Bonnie.

Bonnie was puzzled. “Arenʼt you a bit curious to know why she wants to see you or hear what she has to say?” She said with folded arms. She knew she was curious herself. She had met with Annalise a couple of days ago and she had sensed remorse in most of her words. It was only fitting to think maybe Annalise wanted to apologise.

When Tegan turned around, her steady gaze and stiffened shoulders said it all. She didnʼt think she cared what Annalise had to say. She was done. But was she? That a part of her still loved that stubborn wife of hers deeply, irked her a little. They had never been alone in a room without having it rain fire and brimstone in months now. So, it was hard to believe this talk was going to be something heartfelt. And she feared her resolve would come crumbling. Was she tired of fighting? Not really. But did she wish it would be different? Yes, she very much did.

Tegan changed the topic by asking about the client she had willfully ignored. “What did Mrs. Romney want? I thought she already signed off on settling out of court.”

Teganʼs refusal to answer the question confused Bonnie. _Had she not been the one babbling about Annalise being insensitive for weeks now and now she wonʼt even give the woman a chance to apologise?_ Bonnie breathed. She knew she was probably reaching. She hated that she knew Annalise too well to even think an apology was what sheʼd tender if Tegan even agreed to go see her. Also, she hated knowing that nothing was going to save their marriage from ending when Annalise seemed to love things crash and burn. There was no use trying to understand them, understand this. In as much as she hated the conversation coming to an abrupt end, she was happy to get back to the dayʼs work.

“Turns out sheʼs had a change of mind. She believes a court hearing would give her a shot at a better deal.”

“That doesnʼt make no sense.”

“My thought exactly. But she seems pretty sure about it.”

“If a lawsuit is what she wants, weʼll let her have it. Itʼs her money after all.” Tegan was straight with her response. She didnʼt really care about this case even when she should. But it was not her immediate problem.

“Iʼd set up an early meeting with her for tomorrow. Iʼd have Miriam begin preparation for a deposition and Hector could gather any evidence. He could also reach out to any possible witnesses. And the others would help build up a solid case.” She said confidently, showing she had it all under control.

Tegan approved with a nod before Bonnie left her office. She was glad to have Bonnie. She admired her leadership roles and appreciated her support both officially and unofficially. She wondered what Price and Winterbottom would be like without Bonnie especially now when she herself could barely concentrate on work while going through this rough patch. She was very thankful for Bonnie.

Before the close of work, Tegan had time to ponder on Annaliseʼs text and Bonnieʼs words. She may not have admitted to being curious but she sure as hell was. With that, she decided to stop by the house on her way from work. But she purposefully delayed. She didnʼt want to appear eager. She definitely didnʼt want Annalise getting any ideas. What ideas? She surely didnʼt know. But she knew for sure that she was still very bitter about everything happening. She knew that she enjoyed torturing Annalise. She knew she was enjoying every bit of power she had over her— that she apparently was at her mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! 
> 
> PS: Following chapters would be uploaded weekly. Sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She stared at the album. It had been a wedding gift from Connor and Oliver. Her hands felt the outer cover with her eyes shut tight and her mind travelling. When she finally flipped it open. The first picture was of her and Tegan having their first dance. It brought memories, memories she had nearly forgotten. She stared at it for a really long time, wondering to herself how the smiles on their faces, the love in their eyes, in every part of their being had all suddenly died and disappeared. She wondered where they’d all gone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. The new chapter is out. Thanks so much for being patient ☺️😊 and also excuse any errors. I didn't do enough proofreading.

***FLASHBACK***

Annalise had had a very busy day teaching torts, criminal law and had just finished conducting a mock trial. She was utterly exhausted and couldn’t wait to get home to her wife. So, the call she received from her the moment she stepped out of her classroom exhilarated her mind. She smiled sheepishly after the call had ended which so indicated how much she had secretly come to enjoy every one of Tegan’s calls. They were usually the highlights of her day because she still wasn’t thrilled about teaching. She still hated everyone of her students even without having any personal relationship with any of them. She just hated that they were students at all. She hated her life as a Professor but she wouldn’t admit it to anyone not even her wife.

Clutching her purse with unneeded grip, she walked briskly towards her office hoping to escape some first year law students obviously waiting to bombard her with questions. She really didn’t need their troubles, not today as the plans her wife already had for her evening was all she wanted to get to. While they called out to her, she pretended not to hear them. They eventually gave up. She was relieved when none of them came running after her. Though, when she was five to ten feet away from her office, she heard someone call her by her first name. She knew it wasn’t one of her student. One, they’d never call her by her first name and two, the voice was soft and familiar too. She stopped and turned in the direction she thought she had heard the voice come from. The person came into full view from behind a pine tree looking distraught in a two piece midnight blue suit.

“Eve?”

They had barely spoken and had not seen in years not since the last time they did at her mother’s funeral so seeing her standing in Bryn Mawr’s College compound was a surprise. Annalise swiftly viewed around before resting her gaze back on her again. Eve walked towards her with misty eyes. Though Annalise was puzzled, she gave Eve a hug as it seemed the most immediate and normal thing to do.

When they were inside her office, they both settled into a double sofa. Annalise watched Eve with pensive eyes. She could only wonder what had happened. She allowed her the time to get herself together even when she was itching to get the details out of her.

“I’m so sorry to barge in on you like this— so unannounced.” Eve sniffed. She couldn’t exactly look Annalise in the eyes.

“Nah, it’s OK. Don’t forget I’m the one who usually shows up looking a hot mess.” That somehow made Eve chuckle but only briefly. “What’s wrong?”

Eve sighed. It appeared the words were too heavy for her to even lift them off her chest and out through her mouth.

“Is it Vanessa?” Eve didn’t say a word. Annalise then proceeded to ask. “Is Amy OK?” Amy was Eve’s and Vanessa’s two year old daughter. Eve nodded but still didn’t make eye contact with her. Annalise was anxious more than ever. “Eve,” She touched her hand gently when the tears began to flow seemlessly. She moved closer and hugged her. They stayed that way for a while. Eve’s cheeks glistened with tears when they pulled away from each other.

“Vanessa and I are getting a divorce.” She stated, dabbing at her face with her handkerchief.

Annalise shoulders slumped. She didn’t exactly know how to feel. She stared at her utterly emotionless. To say she was surprise about the news would have been true but she wasn’t. She had somehow known Eve’s relationship with Vanessa wasn’t going to last. One, Eve had told her on the phone several months ago how things weren’t so great with them after the baby arrived. Two, Annalise believed Eve wasn’t completely over her. Yes, she did pride herself to be that special, to think that the love Eve had for her would always come first and probably come in between any other relationship she ever did try to have and build on. She even could tell that Eve was still struggling with letting go of that love. At least, she was certain to have seen it in her eyes. In moments when they said goodbyes. She had seen it the time she had visited in regards to Gabriel Maddox’s case and when she had showed up unexpectedly at her mother’s funeral. She was just so confident that Eve was always going to be in love with her and it scared her because it meant she still had the power to cause Eve pain regardless of everything else, regardless of the fact that they weren’t even a thing. And it made her suddenly sad for Eve. Sad, because she might be the reason why she could never truly be happy.

“I’m sorry about this.” She wanted to ask if she was alright but it obviously was a stupid question. “Mind if I ask what happened?” She asked, wanting to confirm if it would be the old cheating clichéd reason.

Eve sniffed.

“Apparently, she was done with us the moment the baby showed up. She literally told me to my face that she never really wanted a baby. That she only agreed to it because she knew it was what I wanted and that she thought it would make her come first, that it would make me love her more, want her more— make me forget about whoever it was I couldn’t fucking get over.”

And there it was. Annalise’s confirmation. Yes, she assumed she was _the_ one Eve couldn’t get over. But she asked, pretending not be perturbed by what Eve had or hadn’t implied.

“Woah! She sure does sound fed up.”

“She sure was.”

“So who filed, you or her?”

“I did.”

Annalise wouldn’t have imagined that. Wouldn’t have imagine Eve could be this bold? She knew her too well to know how emotionally soft she was as a person. She also knew how much she always tried to fight for the ones she loved and not give up or run away from them like herself. She just didn’t think Eve was capable of letting go of Vanessa. In as much as she thought she was the center of attention in Eve’s love book, she imagined that Vanessa was somewhere in there too. They were great together and their life was perfect especially with their daughter in the picture.

“She said she was tired coming second in my life. It was evident she wanted to be free of the burden of it all, to be free to experience what it’s like to come first. I didn’t want her to compromise any more for me or she would have grown to resent me. I wouldn’t forgive myself if that had happened. If anything I want her to be happy. She deserves it and much more because she is a good person.”

“And letting her go seemed ideal?” Out of everyone, Annalise understood this very much but she could see that it was not such a smart move even for Eve, she didn’t think it was. She just felt Eve had given up too easily but then, she only knew what Eve was willing to share with her. She for sure didn’t know the type of damage their relationship had experienced. But she could see that Eve was hurting and must be regretting her decision.

“It was for the best. It was what she needed.”

“Was it what you wanted?”

Eve looked away unable to formulate her feelings into words, into answers. Just then Annalise’s phone rang. She pulled it out from her purse. It was Tegan calling. She got up and walked to a corner before answering it. “Hey, babe.”

“Are you still at the office?”

“Yes. Why?”

“If it isn’t too much trouble could you stop by the store and grab some ginger ale. We seem to have ran out. And could you also add some beans sprout.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Her eyes resting on Eve who immediately looked away and stared at her laps. “I’d be leaving the office now.”

“Thanks, love. See you soon.”

Annalise slid her phone into the pocket of her coat. She stared at Eve not exactly saying a word but Eve read her silence.

“I should probably get out of your hair.” Eve said rising up. She adjusted herself and tucked her handkerchief in her purse.

With this, Annalise knew they were done with the conversation but she wanted so badly to know what Eve’s answer to her question would have been. The silence was getting awkward so she asked.

“How long are you in town for?” Even when she was tempted to ask her if coming to give her the news about her divorce was the only thing that had brought her into town.

“A couple of weeks. I’m actually working on a high profile case.”

“Hmm, that’s good. At least you have that to distract you.”

Eve shrugged not particularly knowing what to say to that and another weird silence followed.

Annalise cleared her throat. “So, where did you put up?” She asked as they both made their way out of her office.

“I booked a room at The Ritz-Carlton.”

Annalise nodded. “Fancy.” While locking the door.

Eve smiled. “Thank you, Annalise.”

She glanced at her. “What for? Please, I haven’t done anything.” her keys dangled as she objected.

“For listening to me.”

It was Annalise turn to smile and she just hugged her dismissing her comment. “I’m here anytime you need to talk, at least before you leave town. Or maybe we could just have you over for dinner. Tegan would be so excited to see you.” Annalise was all smiles.

“That would be really nice,” Eve said simply. But she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of being around happy people. Not that she was jealous of them because she was of course happy for the both of them. But she didn’t want to end up watching them all evening doting on each other and then going back to her hotel room and back to being sad, lonely and hurt. Yes, she had quickly envisioned it all and it seemed like it would be too much torture. She wasn’t sure she could handle it. “But I’ll pass. I have to meet up with my client this evening to run over some new development in the case.” It was a damn good lie and excuse.

“Oh, OK. That’s fine.”

“Some other time perhaps.”

“Sure. Guess I’ll see you around.”

“Bye, Annalise.” She said and walked off.

Annalise watched her for a while before jetting off herself.

***END OF FLASHBACK***

***PRESENT DAY***

Annalise had waited and waited and assumed Tegan wasn’t going to show up. It was a few minutes past the hour of nine. And if Tegan wanted to come, she would have been there by her inclination. She almost gave up but her instincts kept telling her that she just might. But she was tired of waiting and was very much angry _and_ hungry. She had ordered Italian takeouts which were probably getting cold. Despite her hunger, she refused touching the food. She was going to wait a little longer for Tegan.

She decided to rummage through some cabinets around the house looking for stashed drinks and in that process found their wedding album. Frustrated at not finding any stashes as she had apparently downed them all, she settled for an ice-cream. She could only imagine maybe the universe needed her to be at least sober even if it was for a few hours to have a decent conversation with her wife. She went into the kitchen and took out a small bowl of ice-cream from the refrigerator. She carried it to the living room, picked up the album and tucked it under her armpit before making her way to their balcony.

She set the bowl of ice-cream down, settled into the fine wicket chair with soft pads. She stared at the album. It had been a wedding gift from Connor and Oliver. Her hands felt the outer cover with her eyes shut tight and her mind travelling. When she finally flipped it open. The first picture was of her and Tegan having their first dance. It brought memories, memories she had nearly forgotten. She stared at it for a really long time, wondering to herself how the smiles on their faces, the love in their eyes, in every part of their being had all suddenly died and disappeared. She wondered where they’d all gone.

But she didn’t have to because she knew all too well where they had gone. She had been the one who constantly drove a wedge into their marriage when she had without a thought decided to have an affair. She shut the album and it slid from her laps to the side. She picked up the bowl of ice-cream, scooped up some and ate it with apathy.

_How had she been so foolish? Why was she so selfish? How in the world did she think she could eat her cake and still have it? How? How?_

She grappled with her conscience for a long time before her phone buzzed her back to reality. Not caring to check who the caller was, she just clicked the answer button assuming it ought to be Tegan.

“Hi, are you out front? The door is unlock.”

“What?”

She pulled the phone away and looked at the caller ID. It read unknown.

“Annalise?”

“Eve?” She said after bringing the phone back to her ears.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“You know you’re not supposed to be calling me? What if...”

“That’s why I’m using a burner phone.”

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to know how you’re holding up.”

Annalise scowled and replied. “I’m fine, Eve. Is that all?”

Eve paused, she could feel Annalise’s edginess through the phone. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this and I’m the rea—”

Just then the doorbell went out.

Annalise fidgeted. “I have to go. Bye, Eve.” She said an with a click she was gone. She exhaled, loosed the phone before going to get the door. She swiftly opened it and was very much disappointed to find that it was just Bonnie. She frowned.

“What do you want Bonnie?” She asked, turning around and finding her way back to the balcony.

“It’s nice to see you too, Annalise.” She placed her handbag down.

She didn’t respond as she thought about Eve’s call. Yet, what concerned her more was Bonnie showing up at the wrong time. The only person she wanted to see right now was Tegan. And that she wasn’t here yet or had not responded to her message or even called her made her grouchy.

Bonnie followed her to the balcony.

“Why are you here, Bonnie? I don’t recall inviting you.”

“I didn’t know I needed an invitation to see you.” She adjusted her red coat as it was a windy evening and there, in their balcony, every ounce of the evening breeze could be felt.

Annalise occupied her previous spot. She planted impatient eyes at Bonnie as if to say if you have nothing important to say just leave.

“Are you expecting someone?” She had noticed the takeouts and thought it was a lot of food for one person. Besides, she needed to do a good job by pretending not to have prior information of Annalise’s text to Tegan.

“Bonnie!”

“Fine, I need your help with a case.”

“You know I don’t practice anymore, Bonnie.”

“This case is exceptional.”

“You say that every time.”

“I know I do.”

“And every time I end up not helping you. Why then do you keep insisting?”

“Because I feel like you might have had a change of mind over time.”

“Well, I haven’t.”

Bonnie breathed.

“OK. Fine.” She said, in a surrendering fit. “Well, if by chance that someone is Tegan. She’s not coming.” She couldn’t help it. She enjoyed taunting her.

Annalise would have very much wanted to shove Bonnie off the balcony but she didn’t respond in that way. She remained quiet.

Bonnie took a seat, relaxed her back and crossed her legs, getting as much as comfortable as she could.

Annalise incautiously picked up the bowl of ice-cream and played with the spoon. She was pensive for a moment. She sure needed a drink. The ice-cream was useless and showing how annoyed she was by it, she dumped it angrily back on a stool.

Bonnie just watched her silently.

“You know a good place to start is telling her you’re sorry.”

Annalise grimaced. At this point, Bonnie really needed to stop talking. And it seemed she got that because she didn’t say another word. And they sat there quiet, staring into the distance as the balcony gave a fine view of the city. They did that for a while before Annalise asked, returning her attention back to her.

“You hungry?”

Bonnie smiled. She sure knew Annalise too well. She’d rather do anything than talk about her feelings. Reason why it still surprised her that Annalise had opened up the last time they had seen.

“Sure. We can’t allow good food go to waste.” She said, getting up on her feet eagerly. She was more than glad to get inside and away from the freezing cold.

When they were inside, Annalise immediately microwaved the food as it was pretty stone cold now. While they waited for their dinner to warm up they watched the evening news and nothing on there was particularly encouraging _as_ always. Afterwards, they ate mostly in silence but Annalise sure had a wonderful time with Bonnie regardless. And when she left, she had time to mull over everything. Nonetheless, she wasn’t sure she wanted to admit to Tegan that she was sorry at least not yet. It was apparent the stubborn in her wasn’t ready to give way. More so, she was really mad at Tegan’s sudden silence and the fact that she hadn’t showed up. She certainly hated tasting a dose of her own medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —Thanks for reading!!!  
> —Keep your eyes open for the next chapter. Subscribe if you may. That way you know when it gets uploaded. 😁  
> —You can also tell me what you think about this chapter. Selah 🙏🏽


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